Thinking a lot

So lately I have been thinking about my life and current situations. I see my husband and the things he does is actually pretty typical of. A man. They just don't take much action in their child's lives. I know it is morecommonnow to do so however James is kind of old fashioned so it makes sense I take it all on. I am the mom it is myjob and that is also typical of astay at home mom. I am finally after 3 yrs becoming more comfortable in this marriage,more comfortable in my own skin. I think about this 3rd pregnancy too, it came at what seemed like the worst timing, but now it just seems perfect. I am home and have time to spend with our beautiful daughter and I can get E on and off. The bus. Also, I can take care of myself and the baby without added stress which keeps my blood pressure happy. I just think the closer I try to get with God the better I feel about my life all together. I have been thinking as my New Year's resolution I will follow Jesus closer and trust fully in him; I will work on peace in my marriage, and I will love my children and show them that every day. I think marriage is a serious institution and I need to keep it peaceful and sacred. I love my family and I want it to be happy. I am the heart of the home.

so much going on.....

Where to begin.....right now there is just so much going on. We are very excited because on Dec 20th we find out the sex of our 3rd child. Any guesses boy or girl? Then there is the thing that started the day after Thanksgiving. My mother in law hadour kids and there was some miscommunication and James ended up making his Mother very angry, so angry that she beat on his car and spit in his face. That has caused us to decide she may not have the kids alone Dec 10th or Xmas eve, but she can come here. Well needless to sayit has caused much frustration and anger throughout all the in laws. I know our decision is the right one but it bothers me our children miss out on half their family. It has to be thet way and right now all involved are poison to our family sowe have to shut them out. All this stress makes it harder to keep my blood pressure down and sometimes I have trouble sleeping. Also, I am beginning to have an increase in anxiety about losing the baby...why you ask I don't know. I have never miscarried but. All the same I worry. So much to think about and right before Christmas.